xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Before you come at me with pitchforks and torches, let me assure you. I’m as baffled as you are. A third picture in the “xXx” series, made 12 years after the second one? How could “xXx: Return of Xander Cage” be worth recommending? Hold onto your hat, grab your Mountain Dew and your Red Bull, grab your Doritos and your skateboard, I’ll tell you why.

When “Pandora’s Box”, a device which allows anyone holding it to hack into any satellite, spy on anyone and send the orbiting chunks of metal crashing down on Earth, is stolen and Augustus Gibson (Samuel L. Jackson) killed, Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) is called back into action. Assembling his own team of experts – sniper Adele Wolff (Ruby Rose), driver Tennyson “The Torch” (Rory McCann) and DJ (?!) Nicks (Kris Wu), it’s up to the former motocross celebrity to save the world from terrorist Xiang (Donnie Yen) and his associates (Deepika Padukone, Tony Jaa and Michael Bisping)

Let’s not give any false impressions. The laws of physics are crying in a closet. “Return of Xander Cage” is filled with ridiculous stunts and developments, every authority figure is incompetent and tattoos somehow give you superhuman accuracy, sex appeal, and physical abilities. The film is not smart, but it does manage to do everything it wants to do right. It’s as if the people who originally spawned “xXx” sat down and said “Can you believe that ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise is STILL going strong? Why didn’t our series go that way? We had Vin Diesel, we had the extremes, we looked dope. What went wrong? How can we fix it? "

Instead of the lone hero like in 2003, we now have a crew of colorful characters with their own eccentricities and defining characteristics. You get to know them individually and as a team, which means you care about the story. The actors are capable of performing the exciting (but ridiculous) stunts and the camaraderie between them feels genuine. I found the interactions between Ruby Rose and Nina Dobrev, who plays an introverted weapons expert/computer nerd particularly enjoyable. While Dobrev is a bit too old for her role of a nerd in awe of everyone else, I’d like to see her again should the series continue. In fact, I say bring it on. Give that family with their cars some competition by keeping this series going!

The stunts in “xXx: Return of Xander Cage” come from the mind of someone who's taken a few too many hits to the head, but they’re cool. The 3D is also decent, with many tires propelling dirt and debris towards the screen. No one expected much out of this third instalment, but you'll be pleasantly surprised. The “Return of Xander Cage” is exactly what was needed to make this franchise worth taking a second look at. (3D theatrical version on the big screen, February 8, 2017)