Table 19

WARNING: This review is hidden because it reveals the content of the film.
Click here to show this review. Like the characters starring in it, “Table 19” is best tucked away in a corner and forgotten. This picture's grip on reality is too loose to be heartwarming and when it comes time to be funny, few of the jokes land.

Eloise (Anna Kendrick) reluctantly accepts to attend her oldest friend’s wedding reception, despite the fact that her ex-boyfriend is the man of honor. Banished to Table 19, where all of the weirdos and undesirables are seated, she discovers that the misfits might know more about being a real person than you'd expect.

The picture simply lays it on too thick. It’s not enough that Renzo (Tony Revolori) is an awkward teen dressed in ridiculous clothes, he has to throw inept pick-up lines at every pair of breasts that takes a look at him. Walter (Stephen Merchant) is a gangly an ex-criminal (whom no one would’ve invited at the wedding, cousin or no cousin) with no social skills whatsoever. There are no human beings sitting at Table 19, only cartoon characters and indie comedy/drama clichés. At first, you might think “at least I can relate to Eloise, she's normal”, but no! Not unless you're fooled by that old “fat friend” trick. You know, the one where you appear thinner by hanging out with someone that’s fatter than you? In any other picture, Eloise would be the nutcase, particularly when you realize that the big conflict between her and her ex could’ve been fixed with a single conversation.

The picture can’t even commit to being a weirdo comedy. It asks you to laugh at these people, then serves the most melodramatic tales to explain why you should look at them as unique flowers with feelings, hopes, dreams and ambitions. None of it is convincing. Seemingly having realized this, writer/director Jeffrey Blitz has thrown in a bunch of cheap jokes to make you forget the prevailing blandness. I called way ahead of time what was going to happen to the wedding cake (a cake that apparently, neither the bride nor the groom has ever seen before) and there are a lot of scenes where someone falls over. Even the one joke that’s funny, a wardrobe-relate one that features Bina, gets repeated to death.

“Table 19″ doesn’t settle for simply ripping off other stories by Jay and Mark Duplass (who helped with the story), it harkens back to the romantic comedies you roll your eyes at ten years ago. Maybe this is one of those instances where I’ve just seen too many movies. I’m not convinced. (Theatrical version on the big screen, March 14, 2017)