Evangelion: 3.0 You Can Not Redo

WARNING: This review is hidden because it reveals the content of the film.
Click here to show this review. Is it possible to enjoy a film while having no idea of what is going on? You better hope so if you are a fan of the Evangelion series and are looking forward to “You Can (Not) Redo”.

Monstrous beings called “Angels” seek to wipe out what is left of human civilization. The fate of the world rests on the shoulders of Shinji Ikari (voiced by Spike Spencer), summoned by his emotionally distant father to pilot the enormous biomechanical weapon Evangelion. When we last saw him, Shinji saved his fellow pilot Ayanami (Brina Palencia) from an Angel attack and was knocked into a coma. He wakes to find the world in even greater peril than before. Treated like a prisoner and met with hatred from his former friends, Shinji meets Kaworu (Jerry Jewell), an enigmatic Eva pilot and learns what exactly happened in his absence, as well as what he can do to fix it.

“3.0” is an incomprehensible mess. The film has two speeds: blindingly quick and slow to the point of fossilization. Let’s hope you weren’t attached to the characters in the previous movie; for all intents and purposes, they no longer exist. It’s implied that most of them have been killed off-screen (we never get a flashback so for all I know they might show up in the next film) and everyone that’s left is so bitter from years of war and so reluctant to talk to our protagonist that we don’t get to know them at all."Neon Genesis Evangelion" is a series that frequently delves into territory that’s vague and difficult to decipher, but this takes it to a new level. At least when the teenagers were talking to each other or fighting the Kaiju-like Angels you knew what was happening. Too bad neither of those elements is present here. We’re left with a mountain of enigmatic pseudo-intellectual fauxlosophy about angels, the old testament, the dead sea scrolls, the apocalypse, the reshaping of the world at a person’s will, the revelation of the last “Angel”, twin spears of destiny, the soul and other science fiction elements given Judeo-Christian names randomly.

Maybe I’m just not “getting it”, so let’s move on. How could the story be compelling when you only have one character to relate to and he’s so hopelessly depressed and distraught over accidentally causing the near-extinction of mankind that he is frequently found curled up in a ball sobbing? When he finally manages to pick himself up and actually fighting for his life, he acts so illogically that you will be scratching your head or banging it against the wall in frustration. The action isn’t even impressive. Does it indicate at all how crazy, bizarre and straight-up confusing it all gets when one of the Evas suddenly reveals to us that it can transform into a giant cat monster?

“You Can (Not) Redo” feels and looks cheap. Numerous times, the background consists of a calm, flat red sea of blood with a clear blue sky devoid of any distinguishing features. There are many repeated shots that linger on still frames while characters narrate their thoughts and talk to each other (to build drama I guess) and a really strange musical montage number with sheets of music and amateur watercolors of horses galloping. I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or this movie was really made with a thin budget but I saw several scenes where characters had their hands covering their mouths or were wearing sunglasses, severely limiting how much movement we see. We’re told that the story takes place 14 years into the future. I can buy that Shinji hasn’t aged because he's been dematerialized and re-constituted and all, but shouldn’t the people that were left behind look older? Oh wait, a throwaway line about the “Angel’s curse” informs us that Shinji’s fellow pilots no longer age. Why bother training your animators to draw new characters when you can write excuses?

All of these factors, combined with a story that is so convoluted and routed in its own cryptic mysticism is a slap in the face. While the movie was playing I wasn’t loving it but I was interested, thinking that everything would pay off and we’d get a sweet climax or some new revelations about the world, surely I'd be rocked to my core by the end? By the time I started heading back home, collecting my thoughts about the experience and discussing it with the people that joined me in the theater, I felt cheated. I prayed that the slap in the face would turn into a bullet to the head. At least then my troubles would’ve been over.

I think the people in charge were pulling a real-life “Producers”. Maybe they purposely made a bad movie so they could scrap the series and re-start it in a couple of years to “get it right”. I am going to be generous and give “Evangelion 3.0: You Can (Not) Redo” a 1,5 / 5. Against my best judgment, I still hold onto the hope that a sequel might elevate this baffling experience. (English dub on the big screen, January 2014)