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    Postal

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

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    Sheiz meister Uwe Boll actually shows some promise with “Postal”; it’s probably his best film. At least with this one the laughs are intentional and it knows when it’s stupid. That said, being the best Uwe Boll film is still like being the most comfortable medieval iron maiden.

    It’s the story of an unnamed man (Zack Ward), a fed-up joe blo whose overweight wife is cheating on him and whose job situation leaves a lot to be desired. We’ll just call him “Postal”. After catching the greasy trailer park supervisor on top of his wife, he’s fed up with his life. He decides to join his scheming uncle in a con. The uncle in question (Dave Foley) is the leader of a phoney cult. Basically he just feeds nonsense to the sheep that will follow him and sleeps with all of the beautiful women who get roped into the compound. Their plan is to steal a shipment of rare Krotchy dolls (think Tickle-Me Elmo, but shaped like a brown cartoon penis instead) and sell them on the internet for big bucks. Little do they know that Al Quaeda terrorists, including Osama Bin Laden also have their eyes on the dolls, which are filled with vials containing the bird flu virus.

    This movie’s pretty bad, but not horrible. There are some genuinely funny jokes, like terrorists getting all worked up over the amount of virgins that will be left in heaven for them or the exact benefits of blowing themselves up. I also enjoyed the random scenes of outlandish violence throughout the film, mostly because a lot of bad child actors get blown away in slow motion. There are gags throughout the film that got multiple chuckles out of me, like a scene where the characters converge on “Little Germany” (formerly “Little Poland”) and find Director Uwe Boll there, making fun of himself. I laughed pretty hard at the “explanation” of how exactly he manages to fund all of his terrible video game movies. I also thought that unlike in most of the other Uwe Boll films, the actors here were actually trying and doing a pretty good job. Zack Ward as Postal is a likeable main character, if only because he’s the only person that acts somewhat like a normal human being when confronted with the rampant madness in this film. Finally, the film could have easily been racist, but Uwe Boll and Bryan C. Knight make a point to saterize pretty much every religious group and demographic out there. This is how you do offensive humour; by offending everyone in turn, including yourself. That shows genuine understanding of distasteful comedy and in turn, genuine intelligence. It finally shows some improvement for Uwe Boll’s films and I have to tip my hat to that.

    Despite the praise I have for the movie, it’s still not enough to recommend it. For every joke that works, there are far more that fall completely flat. It’s more so that when a joke doesn’t work it isn’t merely unfunny, it lingers on the screen for way too long and usually comes back again to remind you how unfunny it was the first time you saw it. Don’t confuse “unfunny” for offensive either. I’m talking about a scene where two characters that we’ve barely seen during the entirety of the film start talking to each other like this: “What? I thought you were retarded! ” says gun totting Bimbo number 1. “No, I was pretending” says the other bimbo. No punch line there, just a bad exchange. Some of the other bad jokes are just really obvious and have been done before and better. I’m talking about the penis-shaped Krotchy dolls, the full-frontal male nudity accompanied with literal toilet humour, the gross hillbilly and fat wife jokes, that kind of humour. The films shows promise at the beginning, but as it goes along the plot gets needlessly complicated and the jokes less and less inspired.

    The best I can say about “Postal” is that it’s more of a bad, leaning towards mediocre comedy than a truly abysmal film like say... “House of the Dead”, “Alone in the Dark” or “In the Name of the King”. Those are so bad they’re nearly unwatchable. If I was held at gunpoint and had to choose one of Uwe Boll’s films to watch I would still go with “BloodRayne” or “BloodRayne: The Third Reich” but this would be an ok third place. I can’t quite recommend it, but I feel it is my duty to note that this is a step towards better filmmaking for Uwe Boll and I applaud anyone who is actually progressing. The people in the film did actually manage to get some laughs out of me so I wish them all the best. (On Dvd, May 17, 2014)

    3
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    adamwatchesmovies@  13.3.2015 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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