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    Captivity

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

    Even if its lame twist ending and even lamer final scene didn’t doom “Captivity” to an eternity of hot coals and pitchforks, its eye-rolling attempt to cash in on the briefly popular “torture porn” horror subgenre would. Neither tense nor scary, it won’t even appeal to those looking for sleazy trash.

    Fashion model Jennifer Tree (Elisha Cuthbert) is kidnapped and brought to an unknown location. There, her captor proceeds to subject her to various forms of psychological torture. When she discovers another captive in the adjoining cell, Jennifer and Gary (Daniel Gillies) search for a way to escape together.

    In all fairness, this film is not as grisly as the films it wants to emulate, like the “Saw” and “Hostel” pictures from 2003 and onwards. Jennifer may get force-fed a smoothie made of eyeballs and ears, but it’s more about the idea of how disgusting it would be to eat that sort of thing than the person whose face got shredded to make it happen. There is one scene in which a woman dies after her face is melted with acid but most of the time, Jennifer is threatened, subjected to loud noises or blasted with blinding lights when she doesn’t do what her kidnapper wants her to. Most of the torture she experiences deliberately avoids dirtying up her pretty face - for reasons that are revealed later. It’s torture but not the kind you’d expect from a movie of this genre made in 2007. That doesn’t mean it isn’t trashy, however.

    About a third of "Captivity" has Jennifer trying to figure out why she’s woken up in this strange place, what her kidnapper wants from her, whether or not she can escape, etc. It doesn’t take you long - far less time than Jennifer - to figure out that it's all part of a sick game. If our heroine finds an object that might help her out, if a route seems to lead outside, if there’s a glimmer of hope somewhere, it’s been planted so the weirdo in charge can get his jollies tickled. This makes you immediately suspicious of Gary.

    I have to pause and explain in detail one particular aspect of Jennifer and Gary's bonding because it makes no sense and bugged me to no end. Between the two is a soundproof glass window that’s been painted black. They communicate by scratching away the paint and spelling out sentences to each other. The thing is, that… just wouldn’t work. There must be paint on both sides of the glass for them to write messages to each other. Do you spot the problem with that? Unless you scratch your message in a spot where your neighbor has already removed all of their paint, they won't see anything. It doesn’t really matter but it’s a telltale sign that this movie hasn’t been thought all the way through.

    **SPOILER ALERT**
     Spoiler alert - click to reveal textAs you might've guessed, Gary is in on this whole kidnap-torture thing. He and his brother, Ben (Pruitt Taylor Vince), are psychopaths who kidnap beautiful women and torture them psychologically. At their lowest, the women are introduced to Gary. Inevitably, they bond, an attraction develops, the two are allowed to be in the same room and they end up having sex (Ben gets to watch, which is what he likes). Soon after, the women are murdered - presumably turned into smoothies. I guess I can buy that premise. It explains why none of the ordeals Jennifer goes through are “that bad” - forcing her to sit down and watch “H. P. Lovecraft’s The Tomb” or “Mummy Maniac”, both of which were advertised before “Captivity” would be far more painful than some of what she goes through. It does require them to have this huge area dedicated to torture rooms and bedrooms with automated doors, hidden cameras, TV screens and all sorts of equipment but you can understand pouring a lot of time and money into your hobby - sick as it is. The real problem is that you can tell director Roland Joffé and writer Larry Cohen thought this reveal was going to have people picking up their jaws up from the floor when it’s obvious to anyone watching. At one point, Jennifer is shown a tape depicting the “origin” of Ben’s madness. He was being molested by his mother until he murdered her on camera. Here’s the thing. That footage isn’t shot from a first-person point-of-view. Someone else was there to film what happened. Put two-and-two together, Jennifer. Who do you think was there with him?

    No bad movie about a female victim is complete with a groan-inducing "empowering" ending - viewable only in the unrated version of the DVD. Following her escape (no thanks to two idiot police detectives who get themselves killed faster than this movie’s chances of being good), Jennifer has slain the two brothers and re-entered society. In no time at all, she turns into the cliché to end all clichés: a serial killer who hunts serial killers! Give me a break.

    **SPOILERS END**

    The only thing worth remembering about “Captivity” is the scene in which Jennifer is forced to drink that eyeball and ear smoothie. It’s so gross and so ridiculous there’s no way anyone anywhere else will ever show that deranged visual on film. Even as something unpleasant you could subject someone you don’t like to, you could do better than “Captivity”. (Unrated version on DVD, October 31, 2021)

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    adamwatchesmovies@  29.3.2015 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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