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    C.H.U.D.

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

    Honestly, the best part of "C.H.U.D." is the title and the pop culture references/parodies you have seen in cartoons and comedy shows about the movie. You expect it to be a cheesy horror movie with the creatures showing up left and right, eating humans and causing havoc but the creatures actually play quite a small role in the film. I was very disappointed.

    Photographer George Cooper (John Heard) is researching the “undergrounders”, or homeless who live in the tunnels underneath New York. He, a derelict named “The Reverend” (Daniel Stern) and a police captain named Bosch (Christopher Curry) discover that the reason string of homeless people disappearing is due to C.H.U.D.s. No not “Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal”! “Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers”!

    Doesn’t that title and the premise get you excited? Odd-looking humanoids with claws and sharp fangs, just waiting to crawl up through man holes and devour the citizens of New York? And that name! Calling someone a C.H.U.D. instantly describes him or her as a lumbering, dimwitted, grotesque creature – even if they don’t know the movie! Too bad the titular monsters don't appear until the 30 minute mark (save for a brief scene prior to the title) and they have no personality whatsoever. The C.H.U.D.s just walk around attacking people when they happen upon them but you never feel like the creatures measure up to the iconic name that they've been given. Their design isn't anything special either, they're just slimy-looking humanoids with yellow eyes and green skin, and it’s not nearly as exciting as you’re picturing in your mind. Although the special effects are pretty good, sometimes the movie gets downright goofy with the monsters. A scene where a C.H.U.D. inexplicably starts stretching its neck just so we can have a memorable scene with George’s girlfriend Lauren (Kim Greist) fighting back sure looks good but it doesn't fit with the rest of the film.

    When it comes to the humans they're actually quite well developed and the multiple characters have ample screen time for you to get to know them and want them to make it out alive. The only problem is that there's very little peril in the movie. It’s get dull as you wait and wait for the body count to rise. This is a movie that’s worse because it’s not terrible. Had it been full of innocent bystanders getting torn apart and C.H.U.D. s running amuck, ruining teenagers’ bedtime antics it could have been awesome. Instead we get a whole lot of a talking and little gore. The big climax doesn’t really involve the titular creatures if you think of it.

    “C.H.U.D. ” is forgettable. It doesn't live up to your expectations after seeing the first five minutes so there's no need to rush out and see it. A crushing disappointment for me, but at least now I can call people C.H.U.D.s and know that it also means “uninteresting” on top of dumb, green and gross-looking. (On VHS, February 28, 2013)

    4
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    adamwatchesmovies@  21.11.2015 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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