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    Bubble Boy

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

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    "Bubble Boy" isn't funny. Right there, it’s reason enough not to see it. But it’s worse than that; it’s offensively bad, offensive and devoid of any creativity.

    Jimmy (Jake Gyllenhaal, who has thankfully moved on to bigger and better things) lives in a plastic bubble. He was born without an immune system and to protect him from all of the dirt and disease out there in the world, his mother keeps him isolated and permanently sealed in. When Jimmy’s crush Chloe (Marley Shelton) informs him that she’s moving away to marry her boyfriend, it breaks his heart. Determined to win the girl of his dreams, Jimmy decides to venture into the unknown, so basically anything outside of his room.

    Most of the jokes here are aimed at the lowest common denominator. It sinks to a level so low that not even the brightest team of writers could have dug this out of a zero-star rating. Don’t believe me? Then I challenge you to write ANYTHING that including a joke where Bubble Boy "Jimmy" has to get rid of his erections by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, and to do so with the intent of making someone laugh. You think you can do it? Then try throwing in twin old fogeys that die while driving vehicles, a woman with a vulgar name that is censored every time a character in the film says it and a sheltered boy who says inappropriate things because he doesn't know any better. I couldn’t make the task more difficult unless I came into the room and started dumping used kitty litter on your head every time you wrote the word “Jimmy”.

    What makes the movie offensively bad is the amount of jokes at the expense of religious organizations and visible minorities. This screenplay feels like it was ripped out of a talentless sweat shop that cranked out bad comedies in WWII it’s filled with so many would-be comedic moments including Jews and Asians. Not to be exclusive in their tactless ways, get ready to witness cartoonish Hindus/Indians (who love curry so much they mix it with their ice cream), jokes at the expense of the physically handicapped (who are depicted as half-wits or cruel circus performers) and Christians (who are depicted as psychotic and cruel) If it’s sounding like maybe it’s just offensive to everyone and maybe that balances it all out, it’s not. “Bubble Boy” is not a satirical film. Racism and stereotypes are simply used as filler until the end credits start to roll, probably so that everyone would leave the room out of fury before they could start writing down the names of those responsible.

    All that, and the story is mercilessly bad. You have seen this sequence of events countless amount of times. The nice guy that should’ve gotten together with the pretty girl but for some contrived reason did not. Now she's about to get married to the jerk that doesn't really love her (and has no real redeeming qualities or reasons to be loved by the girl) so the nice guy has to get out there and find her before it's too late. Comedy hi-jinks ensure and we meet a whole bunch of wacky characters in a fantastic adventure that culminates with our hero entering the church at the last second. It’s as imaginative as a straight line on a white sheet of paper.

    Sure, there are probably some things that will make you laugh out of desperation to keep your sanity aloft. Danny Trejo is in here and people like him sometimes. Jake Gyllenhaal is a good actor that's been in some great films so maybe you will somehow be able to mentally connect some dots to make the fact that a talented person is wasting his time humorous. Maybe your whole family was just eaten by lions and your standards for a comedy are really low right now. Give your comedic tastes some credit though. You deserve better than this movie and you've got better things to do than sit through "Bubble Boy"; a tasteless, unfunny waste of time. (On Dvd, February 18, 2013)

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    adamwatchesmovies@  23.9.2015 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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